Lady – How long have you and the dude been married?
Me – Almost 5 Years
Lady – That is wonderful and how many kids do you have?
Me- None
Lady – Good for you, I think more people should wait till they are older to have kids.
Little did she know that this was not our choice, it was not our plan. Yet again I was reminded that we are not the norm. By their fifth anniversary most couples have a child, maybe even two or three. But not us. I spend a lot of time thinking and wondering, when will it be our time?
Tonight I will let this picture speak for me…
Love to you…
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20 comments:
Love your blog... I'm new to blogging but I've pretty quickly realised that there are so many of us that are the "odd ducks out"... that maybe we're just 'unique' in a very special kind of way :)
Looking forward to sharing the journey with you all :))
New Year Mum xo
Well in that picture the fluffy yellow duck is the cute one!
I have a son that is 3&half, so what I hear is "gee, your leaving the gap really big", "don't leave the gap too long"....... Or What? Is what I want to say!
You can always tell a fertile from an infertile by questions asked. Infertiles eye off your tummy and aversion to Brie cheese like hawkes, And fertiles go out of their way to point out you are missing a baby, a sibling, and point to their watch to indicate your internal clock ticking over.
We just have to stick together, educate, and keep fighting....
Don't you just love the comments of people who have no clue?
With all the millions of people dealing with infertility, it makes me wonder why everyone I know is pregnant, or clueless about it?
I get the same comments all the time!
My husband and I just celebrated out 5th anniversary too. It was bitter-sweet since we've been ttc since our 1st anniversary.
thinking of you
Well, I hope you get to join the pack soon. But I also hope you stay a pretty yellow duckling, because baby or none, you're a lot more awesome than the rest of the group.
I also wish people would get a clue. I don't mind someone assuming I don't want children, but don't make a comment as though I haven't even thought of the idea. Maybe there's a reason I'm 32 and don't have children? Think people think.
Yep, the yellow duck is the cutest. One time during my 6 years of IF I actually had an old lady come up to me, rub me in the tummy and in broken English ask "No beby?". In the end, all we have is time and yours will come soon.
isn't it crazy that people just assume it's by choice?! and you know what they say about when you assume...
and you know, it's sad to me that dealing with IF may not seem like the "norm," but if the statistics are right, 1 out of 5 couples (or 6?) deal with it, so it's not like it's crazy unusual, right? people need to be edjumacated. ugh.
Ugh, the insensitive things people unintentionally say. I'm so sorry, Beckie. Such a cute pic, but I'm sorry you're feeling down. You absolutely will be a mother one day; try not to lose hope. Wishing I could take you out for coffee and try to cheer you up! Your gifts did that for me:)
There's an award for you on my blog. ((HUGS))
We've been married 5 years too and I get that question ALLLL the time. I hate to say, "i have two dead babies", but I often respond, "it's not for lack of trying". praying that something changes between no and your next anniversary! NO, I did not plan to be 32 before any kids came along, since I started trying before my 28th birthday!
Well, at least you're a lot cuter than the black ducks!! I mean, if I had to choose, I'd want to be the fluffy yellow duckling. LOL!!! Okay, all jokes aside, I feel your pain. And even though I have a daughter and qualify as one of those couples with a kid at 5 years of marriage, I'm still not once of those couples with two or three, which is where I saw my life going. I hope you were able to brush off what the lady told you. Lots of times they just don't know. Infertility isn't something people KNOW about and, quite frankly, if I wasn't experiencing it, I don't know if I'd be in the know either. Ya know? :)
Wow, I totally get this....it's really hard to be odd woman out. Although in my picture all of the black ducks are staring at me and pointing their wings saying "WTF is wrong with HER?" So, I guess this picture is more pleasant....lol.
I left you a blog award on my blog :)
Hey there, i just wanted you to know i nominated you for a blog award :) check it out on my blog and it will tell you whats next , enjoy!
http://journeyofhopeloveandfaith.blogspot.com/
I always reply with "none, I can't have kids". That usually shuts them up pretty quick and somehow them squirming uncomfortably makes me feel just a wee bit better.
It's hard seeing past this life obstacle that so many women silently suffer with. It's important to stay positive and look at those little black ducks not as an outsider wanting in but as a little duck creating it's own circle of support and unity.
Beckie,
I love the visuals on you page and the simplicity that is still so full of meaning and emotion. So, I nominated you for two awards on my blog - http://theprincessandthepeestick.blogspot.com. Can't wait for your next post.
We're coming up on 5 years this July and I know how you feel. I'm a teacher - the most pregnant profession on earth and I've been asked if I've consciously decided not to have childre because I'm more career-driven. Nice, eh?
Visiting as I found you through some ICLW blogs...I turn 30 in March and celebrate my 5th wedding anniversary in April. I am struggling with reaching both these milestones with no baby in sight. Wishing you the best of everything!
I'm right there with you. Our five year anniversary is in April and we're struggling to conceive. Best of luck to you!
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