~What Is Your Wish?~

Tonight I did my HCG trigger shot! I cannot believe that this milestone has come and gone. The doctor says that I have over 20 eggs but will have to wait until they are retrieved to see the quality and which ones are mature enough for fertilization. Retrieval is set for Tuesday morning at 9am and I am pumped! I cannot wait to begin the fun stuff of IVF!

This week as I have waited for my appointments I have had a good look at how vast infertility actually is. I have seen ever single grouping of people imaginable, all battling the same thing…infertility. It is nice to know that I am not the only person going through this but at the same time my heart breaks for each couple waiting. I feel their hurt, sadness and the grief they have felt for a child.

When I am in that room I feel understood, supported and completely normal. When I step outside the comfort of those who know my struggle and pain I begin to feel lost. I sometimes feel as if I don’t have a voice anymore.

It is hard to explain to people who had no trouble getting pregnant on the depths of what infertility can effect. Most people I tell acknowledge that infertility is expensive and yes they would be right. I am not sure if people are just not aware but infertility affects EVERY aspect of that person’s life and not just their finances.

I wish more people knew that infertility is life altering and is a game changer in every way imaginable. I wish that instead of being hostile to so many people I would have tried to educate them instead of letting them get to my core with there ignorance to infertility. I wish that infertility is something that someday I would just magically grow out of. I wish for contentment in anything.

What is your wish?

Love to you…