I have been testing at home since 5dp5dt (5 days past 5 day transfer) which is roughly about 10 days past ovulation. Unfortunately I have nothing exciting to share – every test since than has come back negative. Today I am 11dp5dt and although there is a chance that I could still be pregnant, it is HIGHLY unlikely at this point. That is why I went into the office today to get the blood work done because I just want this to be over so we can move on and try again.
There are many people who feel testing at home is a waste of time, for myself, it allowed me to grieve over several days. Not that anytime during the testing process I counted myself completely out BUT every day you get a negative result your chances start to dwindle just a little more.
I am actually feeling pretty good. There have been some sobbing tears over the last few days which is to be expected. Overall I am feeling positive and optimistic about the future. I really feel fortunate and blessed to have gone in for IVF (so many people don’t get to go) and I am also thankful we have (3) frosters that we are able to use in the next few months.
This weekend I hope they will call back with the results and I can stop taking my progesterone and estrogen supplements (they are making me go crazy!) It will be then we can start making plans for the future to transfer our frosters!
I can do nothing to change the outcome of this situation. I am however reminding myself that although this part of our journey is over we will have another chance real soon!
I can sum up today in a few words…
Sad – Blessed - Optimistic
Right now I feel my life changing and I can feel there are even better things to come. During this holiday season I am going to remember all the blessings I have been given (because there are ALOT) and let go of something I cannot change…the past!
“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.”
Love to you…
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13 comments:
Thanks for sharing Beckie. Sad/Blessed/OPtimistic. You are sounding great and so strong. I'm very happy to hear that. I love how you said, "I can do nothing to change the outcome of this situation." Oh how i need to remind myself of this.... We continually are reminded of how we have no control right?? Arghhhhh
love ya girl. i'm here.
I can only imagine how difficult it is, but I am so glad you are feeling pretty good. Your strength and hope for the future inspires me. Love you Hon. Hugz!
I'm sorry :(
I'm so sorry. That is the same reason I test at home too. Thank God for snow babies!
Oh darn Beckie, this wasn't the news I wanted to hear. I'm so sorry. I have not POAS so I have no real idea how my beta will come back today. DH says he feels good about it, but I do not feel pregnant. :( We'll know in just over two hours I guess. I hope your clinic calls you back so you can quit the prog and estrogen! I'm so glad you have some freezer babies to give you such hope. At least FETs are way less intense (medically anyw)ay, so that's a plus for your next embryo transfer :) I'm glad you seem to be coping so well, and I pray that you can continue to feel blessed and optimistic! So sorry again about this cycle :(
oh hun, I'm sorry :( I've been watching your story really hoping this would be the cycle. How soon can you do another one?
For the record, I don't think testing at home is a waste of time. I think for an infertile it is necessary. Your right, it does allow you to grieve the cycle early and over a length of time, rather than one cold blow. I always tested, I had to. Then by the time AF showed, I would have made my peace with that cycle not working, and I was just happy to move on to the next cycle and start it all over again! I think if it works for you, and it helps you, how could it be a bad thing to do? ;)
Sam
I'm so sorry to hear this:( I know there are no words. I do think you have an amazing perspective though, and I just want to tell you to hang in there..your time will come!! I am praying for you and love you, dear friend.
I'm sorry to hear this but glad to see you seem to have found resolve and are strong in handling it. I especially like the phrase you shared at the bottom.
“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.”
I'm so sorry to hear this. The end quote resonates "hope". Hang in there.
I'm so sorry to read this post! But I must also commend you on your strength and positivity moving forward!! Saying prayers for you and knowing your baby will come to you soon!!
I'm so sorry that it turned out this way. Your positive attitude is amazing though and it proves that frosty is very lucky to have you for his/her mamma.
I'm sorry about your miscarriage of your precious little baby.
You are so brave. This post blew me away.
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